This is how I feel at the moment. I decided to share about another job interview OH has on the horizon in a post last week and since then I've been haunted by the possibility that it wasn't the right thing to do.
It feels like every time I open my mouth and share about potential good news and exciting opportunities that are happening, they immediately fizzle out and dry up. Which I know is totally illogical and they were most likely not going to go anywhere anyway and me saying it out loud has no effect whatsoever. Probably.
Now I'm chasing my tail wondering whether it was the right thing to do to broadcast OH's interview this week. This is job opportunity number 3 for a local job and I know that every time he doesn't get it, it's a knock to his motivation to keep looking for something else.
It's also hard not to start down the road of imagining what our lives would be like 'if'. 'If' OH gets this job then it will mean x, y and z for our futures. 'If' OH gets this job then it would mean I wouldn't be on my own with the kids most of the time, I would be able to have help in a morning getting them ready, I would be able to eat breakfast with my OH (which has never happened), it would be confirmation that staying where we are was the right thing to do when we could have upped sticks and moved months ago etc etc - it's so easy to wander down that road and begin to get excited about the potential this job has for us as a family.
Not to mention the fact that it would be a life changing job for my OH. He is currently working in a terrible environment, with people who have little to no care or regard for his wellbeing and I have watched his positivity spiral downwards for the best part of 18 months. I want it to stop!
So...to all the people who read my previous post and who have read this. Keep it quiet, ok? Because we really need this interview to go well!!